If Bible stories were named like Aesop's fables

Now that I'm no longer in the Christian church, it seems so painfully obvious that Bible stories are simply attempts to explain the world around us, and rather juvenile ones of that.

My kids love reading Aesop's fables and "just so" stories so I thought it would be fun to remap some Bible story titles into Aesop's fables titles. So for a little fun, let's think up some new names for classic Bible stories that better fit the genre!

• Genesis 3 (The Fall of Man): 
• "How the Serpent lost his legs"
• "How Survival Became Hard"
• "Why Birth Hurts a Woman"
• Genesis 5-7 (Noah's Ark):
• "How the Rainbow got its Colors"
• "The Old Man and his Boat"
• Exodus 12 (Passover)
• "The Chosen People's Escape"
• "How the Red Sea got its Name"
• Exodus 20 (10 Commandments):
• "How Killing Turned Out to be Wrong"
• "The Twisted Morality of Jealous Inmortality"
• Book of Job: "Why Your Day Sometimes Sucks"

I'm sure there are other good examples. Or better names for the stories I've suggested. Leave some comments in your tweets or in the comments below. I'd love to hear your ideas. Thanks for reading!